College

I am officially excited.

roll mah sleeves up

Last night I realized that I live most of life in a state of observation while the people I tend to envy are the ones getting their hands in everything.

Solution? Get dirty!

~

I feel like there is considerable truth to the phrase, "do one thing every day that scares you." Well it's about time I started living by it.

Something New

I need to figure out how to go through my routine and not get pulled into lethargy. There has excitement and discovery, and something new in my routine. Is that such a bad thing? I just need to figure out how to do it and keep the dependability of a normal schedule.

Oh Felicia....

Homework

My list of goodbyes:

Goodbye sloth.

Goodbye stabbing myself in the back.

Goodbye fake personality.

Goodbye Craig.

speedbumbs

Here's where I get to tell myself, "I told you so."

When I was at my dad's house two weeks ago everything was so much easier. Practicing, living, being happy. I--naively--thought that returning would be the same. Somehow I started with energy and intent and got myself going, which led to momentum. Positive momentum that for the week, kept me going.

But all good things must come to an end.

I'm not sure what the best plan of attack is. I figure I should just keep plowing through until it all starts working again.

Baby Steps

I'm taking baby steps. They're small, but I never stop taking them.
They say slow and steady wins the race--well you better get my ribbon out.

don't look at the sun

I can shine if I want to.

Right here.

Right now.

You Spin Me Round

I found out it does hit him.

~
I saw him last night for the first time in a month

and it was great.

crawlin down the avenue

ADELE just reminded me it's been a month since I last saw him.

I'll be honest, I'm not totally healed, I'm not totally over it, and I'm not sure how it will be seeing him again. My stomach still bottoms out every time I see a facebook update about him, and I realize that I still really care about him. I'm not sure if caring about him is holding me back, though. It shouldn't in theory, but is it?

I have risen above, though. I have come out of it stronger, ready for the next chapter. It was painful, and I don't know why it happened, but I am SO ready for this next semester. I'm ready to work, I'm ready to practice, and I'm ready to let myself BE HAPPY!!

~

I need to get away
To feel again
Try to understand why
Don't get so close
To change my mind
Please wipe that look
Out of your eyes
It's bribing me
To doubt myself
Simply, it's tiring

But sometimes it still hits me, and I wonder if it hits him too...